Category: essays

I went vegan. It was as if the universe was trying to tell me that there will be no simple answers. I don’t have the digestive system to consume grains. I ate wheat for decades, and I got that thing where you can’t eat gluten any more, It got worse, yadda, yah.

I can’t disengage from the oil economy as neatly and easily as I would like to. I would like to heal everything as simply as a slogan ending in an exclamation point. Really, I would. I would like to manifest a cob house and grow my own food, yet, I have no home because of gentrification and displacement.

I would be dead if it weren’t for the oil economy because at age 13, I had to have an operation for a tumor that was disintegrating my jaw. The question for me becomes how do I proceed to save the world after I have completed step one of getting off my prayer and meditation cushion.

I look at people who, with millions of dollars, believe that they can never have enough. Up until now, they can’t stop doing and start being. They have the inability to share. One of them I know intimately. A viral illness infecting our mind states has people with more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime believing that they need more. So this is the dilemma that I find myself in while inhabiting a country that drives this mind states.

As a culture, this country hasn’t cured itself of worshiping the forefathers who owned slaves and sanctioned genocide while proclaiming that all men are created equal. Its citizens are barely cognizant of how America became the cultural force that it is. If the Constitution is beautiful to read, I suspect that the energy of its writers as also infected it, no matter how eloquent, and us.

I’m not nearly done, but so far, I have concluded that healthy mind states can also infect the culture like an advantageous virus as I consider myself to be the earth walking, talking, and taking guidance from the earth under my feet, guidance on how to heal itself and ourselves through me. In my case, I am healing bitterness and cultivating compassion and understanding. In my case, I attempt to hold dilemmas that I cannot instantly solve. For me, this looks like learning more and more every day about how my very existence is devastating to the planet, even while eating mono crop vegetables, which can include soy, a lot of which is grown in what used to be rain forests of Argentine. For me, living means holding heartbreak and choosing to have enough room to also find healing.

And for me, living looks like a lot of my own food prep.  It means considering where my food was grown and how it was treated, for example, bio-dynamic and humanely. I consider the time and the skills that I take in food preparation a gift that I asked spirit for some years ago. When I run out of funds, I have compassion for myself, for all I have been through as I heal my blockages to abundance, and I buy what I need to eat to stay nourished as best I can, as I consider this life I’ve been given a gift.

From the Work That Reconnects

The whales. Let’s save the whales. And the rainforest. Species are going extinct with each breath I take. Did I mention that the world had gone mad? I am Gaia therefore I speak for her. So my heart breaks for all of those creatures and plants and communities.

Continue reading “I am in relationship to what?”